Marooned Tunes #1 | " Fall to my knees before a vision of The Lord Christ Sir Elton John"

Written by Elton Ron Keynes, Contributor.

Written by Elton Ron Keynes, Contributor.

Marooned Tunes is a Decade. instalment which allows guests to choose seven songs, a book, a personal item and a film (merely to look at in its case) to take with them whilst hypothetically marooned.

This first article is written by the elusive Elton Ron Keynes, a history of art student who believes that perhaps after his demise, his avant-garde cinematography will be appreciated and critically acclaimed as groundbreaking, influential and culturally significant.

1. The Strokes - Call It Fate Call It Karma

I cry my fucking eyes out every time, including that time after Truck [Festival]. This sums up my university experience in that it made me fucking cry quite a bit and I wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad. Probably bad.

2. Claude DeBussy - Suite Burgamasque

I cry my fucking eyes out every time in a goosebumps-fuck-me way. It reminds me of crying hungover on trains to and from home and it’s also the catalyst for crying during existential crises. It also acts as an extending arm of my arty, historical, posh cunt persona.

3. Oasis - Morning Glory

Needed a pick me up after those two sad cunts. The start sounds like cocaine and the rest is me doing air guitar stood on a chair in London before Superfood, which reminds me…

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4. Superfood – Like a Daisy

It could have been any off the first album but this one is coming down on a Sunday afternoon ‘n’ sleeping like a daisy in a darkened room. I didn’t like coming down so this would serve as a useful reminder to not do any MDMA while marooned and adds to the lazy, bittersweet theme.

5. Friendly Fires – Jump In The Pool

‘My name is Paul’ – another one to liven it up as its been a bit cry-ey so far, although I did cry my eyes out to this on the way to work over Christmas. I was hungover to be fair, but I was also thinking about how it led me into slave labour in 40 degree heat at the hands of a then oppressive parent/guardian in everything but law.

6. The Kinks – Waterloo Sunset

Pengest song I’ve ever heard. Never felt so much in one song about Terry and Julie or whatever the fuck they’re on about; pure magic. What it means to be British. Fuck your Nimrod and fuck your Queen. I would go over the top in one final push against the French over the Channel while this is blaring through a shitty Tannoy. Everyone singing, tits raised to the sky to salute Monty Panesar and Shaun from This Is England as we all get massacred together for no reason, charging into gunfire on horseback with swords.

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7. Allegri – Miserere Mei, Deus

I’ve never cried so much in my life. I always imagine myself sat in a small chapel in Walsall, finally finding God after so many years of blind ignorance with all my facts and reason and science. I’ll be flanked by the boys of the New College, Oxford, and when that one extraordinarily pre-pubescent voice does the high notes, the camera will hone in on my face, cracking as I fall to my knees before a vision of The Lord Christ Sir Elton John, accompanied by Saint Peter of Kay and Grand Master Archbishop George Clooney.

Book – An anthology of scripts from Eastenders’ and Coronation Street’s most important episodes during the golden period between 2004 and 2014

Personal Item – The Premier League football from the 05/06 season in blue and white (size 5, not fully pumped up)

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Film – Braveheart

I’ve never seen it all the way through, but my seminar tutor compared it today with Hungarian nationalism in the 19th century. I’d pick.